Autism Sunday

I recently heard about an event called 'Autism Sunday 2010' - The International Day of Prayer for Autism and Asperger’s Syndrome. This event is due to take place on Valentine's day at St. Paul’s Cathedral in London as well as many other participating churches, cathedrals and religious organisations across the world. The Founders of 'Autism Sunday', are the parents and carers of a teenager with autism, Ivan and Charika Corea from the United Kingdom. They urge affected families around the world to use the occasion to campaign and lobby on the serious issues of autism and Asperger’s Syndrome.

I too am the mother and carer of a teenager with Aspergers, so what could I possibly have against such a worthy cause? My dissension comes from my position as a non-believer. To make a general campaign based around a religious belief is not only offensive to me but it excludes me and other atheists from participating.

What possible role can religion have in explaining, enlightening or helping those who have autism in their family? How does religion explain such difference and the sometimes extremely negative impact it can have on the individual or their family. On one occasion I was rather offensively told by a mother with a mildly affected daughter that 'Aspergers is a blessing'. The effect of her words, which I have no doubt were intended to be positive and supportive, was to intensify my sense of isolation and guilt. I did not, and do not, see my son and all his problems as a blessing. In truth I am outraged that a disorder which is now fairly well understood, is still being marginalized by our education system, is still ignored by our benefit system and is misunderstood by our criminal system. The religious faction fail to provide any emotional sustenance but rather prefer to sugar-coat a disorder that often has a destructive influence on the entire family.

As individuals we are rewarded for suffering in silence, for being stoical; the unspoken rule is that the truly spiritual are supposed to bear suffering with dignity and courage. I, as the consummate moaner, find myself overwhelmed with guilt because my undeniable feelings are of anger and fear and I cannot bury them under a cosmetic layer of graceful and cheerful acceptance, a pretense that all is alright. Putting on a brave face is surely for the benefit of others, to save them the inconvenience and, let's face it, the distressing, tedious and exhausting act of having to care. But it takes effort to maintain an upbeat demeanor and this is an effort that I cannot justify.

I find the idea of 'a day of prayer' to help solve serious political issues about autism a bitter pill to swallow. If Aspergers is supposedly a blessing from God, then I'd hate to be on the receiving end of a curse. Praying to me is a pointless, delusional exercise and one that excludes all non-religious parents. Fighting for better and more appropriate education, care and services is not a religious matter, it is a political and humanitarian issue.

Most of the aims and suggested actions of 'Autism Sunday' are ones to which I subscribe. In fact, in my book 'Children and Teenagers with Aspergers' we highlight the enormous failings of the education system to accommodate our childrens' needs and the sometimes catastrophic effect this has on the entire family. 'Autism Sunday' needs to drop the faith element and make it what it should be - a day when all parents unite, ignoring our differences and stand together to tell our governments that we are not going away. Treating this humanitarian issue as a religious issue is divisive and offensive. We need to address the education system with an urgency because too many children have had miserable and academically unproductive childhoods. We need to ensure that our children have opportunities to be meaningfully and appropriately employed in adulthood because currently only 12% are in full-time employment. Finally, for those that cannot work, we need to provide properly adapted accommodation with appropriate support to enable them to live fulfilling and worthwhile lives, free from the constant fear that their funding might be withdrawn at any moment.

Society is what makes Aspergers disabling and if we fight for their right to be atypical and not to have to conform, then something truly miraculous will happen, we will have a tolerant, enriched and productive society, one where everyone can find their place and lie in harmony.



Anna van der Post