This is an acutely painful, beautiful film. It is about Aspergers and the effect it has on the whole family as seen through the lens of the mother, a film maker. It explores the pain of Adam growing up and never quite fitting in and the constant pangs of parenting such children. But it is about so much more, it is filled with love, courage, persistence and wonderful people.
It is an immensely sensitive film which has a gentle honesty but one senses some reserve and as a result it thankfully never feels voyeuristic or sensationalist. The family's integrity remains in tact throughout the film and Adam's dignity is never compromised.
For me, the mother's constantly vigilant eyes, regularly and anxiously scanning her son's face, trying to pick up early and subtle cues, was the saddest thing and made me cry, those silent, private tears of another mother who knows.
I found Adam's intelligent, honest analysis of his life endearing and his term for not being lonely as - 'friendful', worthy of inclusion into the best English dictionaries.
The father articulated what so many parents feel about the difficulties of imagining one's child with Aspergers ever being fully independent and his fears for their future. Adam's sister had a minor part in the film but the little she said spoke volumes, when she understandably expressed that she would prefer it if Adam did not attend her senior school.
At one point the family reach crisis point and have to ask for outside help and the guilt and disappointment in themselves is palpable but the viewer does not see failure but phenomenal strength as they do what they have to do in order to survive as a family.
Adam is quite different to my son but the parent's anxiety, the relentless and unresolved problems and the way that Aspergers has the tendency to consume a family, are all common features and, perhaps, most of all the pain of watching one's child struggle. It is authentic, raw but somehow Kaplan delivers us from ever feeling overwhelmingly depressed.
This was filmed three years ago when Adam was 12 and I am left wanting to know how he and his family have fared since as they now feel like old friends.
This is a must watch film for any family feeling alone and for all those who work with us.
To see more information on the film click here. To order the film please contact Marianne.
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