There's help for people like you!

When I tell people about the trials of my life with a teenage son with Aspergers they always comfort themselves by saying 'but there's help for people like you'. Clearly imagining that I have a team of well trained experts supporting me and ample financial support to make up for lost earnings, as I educate and care for my son. I have to explain that I actually get no help and that when I applied for Disability Living Allowance on his behalf so that I could claim carer's allowance, we were turned down leaving with us with only the money I can earn doing part-time cleaning jobs.

My son will only go out in public places with a full face balaclava on; my son will only eat specific foods that have to be shopped for from multiple sources; my son will only eat food cooked in a specific way; he is incapable of cleaning up after himself, and leaves doors and windows open no matter what the weather, or time of night; James will only use clothes that have been hand washed in grated olive oil soap, and he will only drink water that I have personally filled from a spa 45 minutes away. James will work all night long and make no attempt to be quiet – MY SON HAS ASPERGER'S SYNDROME - but according to the department of work and pensions he does not deserve funding and the nearly full-time care I give him is simply not recognized.

I work part-time, because I believe everyone should try, no matter how hard, to at least contribute to their own living costs, but I do so at a cost to me and my son. I am nearly 50 years old now and my parents have to supplement my income so that I can support and properly care for my son.

I have taken the DLA to tribunal and the process feels like I am a criminal on trial, it has taken hours and hours of my time, over ten months and energy which I no longer have. It has preyed on my mind every single day of the process and has left me quite simply depressed. Goodness only knows what the process does to someone already depressed. Collecting the evidence to support my son's case has been degrading. I thought a civilized society was supposed to care for and protect the vulnerable.

Anyway, I finally won my appeal, although I will only receive the lower rate DLA for son which is of little use as parents are not entitled to Carer's Allowance if their child receives lower rates.